The red pen - weapon of choice for most edititis sufferers.

a mental affliction characterized by the inability to refrain from proofreading everything one reads.

You must excuse my professor, he is on some heavy, self-prescribed medication to deal with his edititis.

Origin:
The term was coined by Dr. Colin Irving in an article in the medical journal Medical Journal in 1839 to describe the condition which drove Sir Ryan Francis insane. Sir Ryan Francis was the first editor in chief of the gossip rag Better Than Sliced Bread from 1800-1839.

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-noun [bulimic + alcoholic]

The toilet, friend to balcoholics everywhere.

One who drinks so much alcohol that they are forced to vomit.

Hence balcoholism, the condition of being a balcoholic

Origin:
2009 Unknown graduate student addressing the new freshmen, “Being an undergraduate usually means trying to restrain your balcoholism. And all that starts now.”

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Note also
To absolve :: ab-solv
-Verb
1. To become progressively more incoherent in speech and unstable in mood and behaviour as a result of drinking Swedish brand name vodka
What had started out as a lovely evening out with friends turned into a nightmare as James slowly but surely absolved into a sobbing, spluttering mass of groping hands and biting teeth under the table.

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Origin:
Originally from the Old Norse incantation jeg e ksess morden hjoerd meaning “I derive pleasure from watching you retch”. 1680; a footnote in Ret. Hon. Lord Hickney of Marlborough’s journal: “So hither has Creator dumped His excess crap.”

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Pat Robertson, a christianity sufferer famous for believing that God needs you to give him money.

christianity :: chris⋅ti⋅an⋅i⋅ty :: (ˌkrɪstʃiˈænɪti)

1. A mental affliction, most common among Europeans and North and South Americans, in which the sufferer is easily swayed into believing almost anything through the use of old texts, spooky language, parental influence, and guilt.

Antonym:
Atheism: self-righteousness, disbelief in anything out of sheer smugness.

First known usage:
1602 Shakespeare How Boring Was My Vicar 42 But foreth Christianity existeth, wouldst our atheists haveth nothing of which to bitcheth.

Common forms of christianity:
Mormonism, characterized by the belief that people thousands of miles away from your home should be informed of your disposition.
Catholicism, characterized by deep inner resentment.
Protestantism, characterized by deep outer resentment.

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George W. Bush, the least astute United States President in recent history.

B. Similarily, a political or social orientation in which a person believes their own views on issues are wrong.
Hence, Astutist: an astute person.

Etymology: From the Latin assitudem, or “thinking with the ass”.

First known usage: Translation of Socrates’ “Apology” by Lord Boylan (circa 1383): I know that I know nothing. I’m so astute [Laughs].

The world's best known astutist, Socrates, speaking at the Louvre.

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Einstein is not impressed.

1. A humorous slip of the tongue that occurs when trying to display one’s erudition by using an academic term or term of art resulting in the exact opposite of the desired effect. Similar to a malapropism, but easier to pronounce (making the utterance of an Einsteinian slip less likely).
He would have gotten that research post if it hadn’t been for that unfortunate Einsteinian slip in front of the head of department.

Origin: Invented by a person who meant to say Freudian slip.

Related terms: malapropism, eggcorn, spoonerism, mondegreen, soramimi

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-adjective, hug-er, hug-est
1. yo momma
2. extraordinarily large in bulk, quantity or extent:
Dude, Jupiter is huge! It’s almost as big as yo momma!

Origin:
‘Round about the time yo momma was born and the doctor said “damn, that’s huge!”

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Origin:
1425–75; late ME thelespian a vile-smelling mixture of pus and goat milk (n.), jebodian (adj.) < MF hun-hun the grainy, coarse texture of crotch rash, deriv. of putteres to make love in an outhouse < L antedeutonum the probability of finding a microchip in Ancient Rome, first calculated by the noted Greek astronomer, Mucus Feces, in 200 BC.

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For ex.: Great Expectations by Charles Dickens: My father’s name Pirrip, and my Christian name being Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. […] I was very glad afterwards to have had the interview, for in her face and in her voice, and in her touch, she gave me the assurance that suffering had been stronger than Miss Havisham’s teaching, and had given her heart to understand what my heart used to be.

And
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas: On the 24th of February 1815, the lookout at Notre-Dame de la Garde signaled the three-master, the Pharaon from Smyrna, Trieste and Naples. […] “Darling,” replied Valentine, “has not the count just told us that all human wisdom is summed up in two words? – ‘Wait and hope.’”

And
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. […] So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Literary scholars have estimated that 99.9% of books are gorey books. Also, scholars are divided into two schools of thought on the word’s origins. One school believes that the word was first attributed as praise to Edward Gorey and then as an insult to other writers and artists. The other school, however, believes that the word first came into usage during the reign of King Gorey IV, a voracious board game player, who would only read the first and the last sentences of the instruction booklet before playing.

b. as n.: The uncomfortable idea gained after reading such a book that something else is going on and it will never be made clear.

2. a. Of thoughts, feelings, etc.: sexual or violent and induced indirectly or by non-sequiturs.

b. as n.: A picture or drawing that induces sexual or violent thoughts by way of indirect suggestion.

B. n.

3. Any member of the hippopotamus family, native to the Chicago region of the U.S., that has been known to sometimes yell, “Fly at once! All is discovered.”

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