Our most esteemed editor discovers that the 18th century gothic novel has very little to do with The Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees.

Kids, don’t write these at home!
The “embedded-clauses-are-all-the-rage” opening:
“He, even though the sex change was far from final, so in fact he was still she, albeit anatomically it was difficult to spot the difference, woke, or would have, but his eyelids felt like they had been glued shut with the kind of glue that smells bad and tastes even worse, and since he had no desire to wake up either, he soon went back to sleep, …

DISCLAIMER: This brief account of the literary history of England is solely to praise the Protector of the heavenly kingdom, the might of the Measurer and His mind’s purpose, and is not intended as a vessel of political thought or a marketing ploy.