A Christmas Haiku

It’s almost Christmas
So I must write about it
In a haiku form

We tend to write shit
But this time of year we try
To write excrement

Because we found joy
In our hearts and in our minds
So it’s party time

No dead baby jokes
No abusing Thoreau’s book
(‘Walden still sucks!’ -Ed)

No humanist crap
About how we’ll rule the world
Because it’s not true

We must celebrate
Christmas is all about fun
And for some: sadness

The ground is all white
Not with snow, but with dead doves
It’s bird flu, I think

I hope Santa comes
To my house, so I can say
‘Dad, I know it’s you’

And Jesus was born
Or not, who knows? It’s all vague
What the Good Book says.

‘On the first day of…’
SHH! Shut up! ‘Deck the halls with…’
Quit it! Carols suck

No work on Christmas
That’s great, but I’m unemployed
So it’s quite normal

However, it’s great
Christmas is, I do love it
Good times, peaceful times

From BTSB
And me, a very merry
Christmas-time to all!

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