The second installment of aphorisms from Sloppy Joe.
If it is sexist to think that God is a man, is it also sexist to think that the Devil is a man?
Remember all the times you were being an asshole. This should keep you from being an asshole all the time.
I suppose the only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
The man who can be satisfied in picking his nose will always be satisfied.
If you try to leave the bar but you only make it as far as the next table, at least you’re moving in the right direction.
There are many things in which it is hard to feign interest. But the hardest of all is math.
If the angels do not have free will, how was the devil able to defy God?
The best motivation for a writer is bad writing.
Having a lot of money is fun, but spending a lot of money is funner.
Clothes don’t make the man. A genius in sweatpants is still a genius and an idiot in a tux is still an idiot.