Imagine a cosy cottage with an apple tree or two standing on the yard providing a welcome shade from the hot summer sun, talking to your neighbours about the development of this year’s strawberry crop, then go inside and cook those delicious home-grown new potatoes to go with the smoked salmon – after which you can walk a couple of yards to the tram stop and head home. That’s not just a wild product of the imagination of yours truly: Helsinki is actually full of garden allotments and patches that can be rent for cultivation; there are nearly 40 different sites listed on the Helsinki Public Works Department website. It seems that you really can fit town and country with all of their dualities into the same, neat package.

It is not only elderly people that use this opportunity for the purpose of killing time; it is a growing trend among the young, environmentally aware people of cities throughout the global North. Kata Martikainen, a 24 year-old Helsinki University student in the Faculty of Agriculture and Forestry, has been an active home grower of vegetables for years now. She started off with growing salad and herbs on the windowsill, and during summertime on the balcony as well. This summer she will get to try her wings as a farmer in a larger perspective, that is, on her rented 100 square metre patch of farmland.

“Last year I tried growing vegetables in buckets on the balcony, but for example the potatoes were left seriously undersized. I’ve been dreaming of a farming patch for years, and now, with a few friends who are willing to participate in the maintenance of the allotment, I finally get to realise it.”

Local & Organic

Locally produced food is appreciated for various reasons: freshness is one of the key words, as is sustainability. People care more and more about the ethicality of food, and the carbon footprint of an imported Spanish tomato is beginning to look far too ugly.

“Ecological aspects are important to me, but unfortunately organic products and a student budget don’t go hand in hand. By growing my own vegetables I know exactly where they come from and what kind of fertilizers have been used”, Martikainen says.

Organic food production is still in its infancy in Finland, and as there are still no noteworthy plans for improving the situation in sight, people have been stirred to act on their own. In Herttoniemi a bunch of neighbours decided to rent a whole field for farming purposes and hired a gardener to cultivate it – it is completely independent of institutional or governmental help, it employs one person and provides over a hundred people with organic, locally produced fruit and vegetables. There are a bunch of local food circles in the metropolitan area through which one can place orders to various smaller food producers, whose products cannot be found on the shelves of the two big K and S because the amounts they produce are too small. Those lucky enough to get their hands on a rental piece of land to grow their own veggies often get hooked on the activity and won’t give the patch up without a fight. According to Martikainen, some of Helsinki’s farming sites have over a hundred people queuing for an opening patch.

Community Gardening & Decayed Cities

Gardening and farming in an urban environment can also have a stabilizing affect: in the constant flow of people, goods and information that crowds the city it offers a long-term, productive activity; instead of dealing with everyday abstractions there is something concrete – something that produces results the eye can see and the mouth can taste. Doing together and making things happen – being activist– is in every way rehabilitating to the soul as well as to the city itself.

Jane Jacobs, a New Yorker and a community activist started a so-called garden renaissance in New York in the 1960s, a time when the workers’ suburbs had been emptied as the employees followed the fleeing manufacturing jobs to the South. The big industrial cities of the North were all facing decay as the urban sprawl drove people from city centres to the suburbs, and authorities were eager to bulldoze the empty blocks from the way of huge expressways. Jacobs and the committee she gathered single-handedly prevented the building of the Lower Manhattan Expressway, which was to be a ten-lane elevated highway going through Soho and Greenwich Village, to name a few.

For Jacobs, the city is a living and breathing organism – not a machine – whose lifeblood consists of its inhabitants and their innovativeness. The grassroots project of establishing community gardens on the yards of deserted buildings ultimately contributed in attracting people back to the derelict areas of the city and helped revive the vitality of NY. Laura Lawson, the author of City Bountiful, says that at the time, “gardening became a venue for community organizing intended to counter inflation, environmental troubles, and urban decline.”

Lungs of the City

Unfortunately, cities’ green areas are often first on the list to go when big construction projects take place. For the London Olympics 2012, the Manor Garden Allotments were ‘temporarily demolished’ from the way of the Olympic village in 2007. The phrasing sounds ridiculous – how could over a hundred-year-old farming patches be reinstated after the Olympics are through? Apple and olive trees won’t grow fruit for decades, and the tight-knit community that was torn apart will never be restored; some of the members had been present in the allotments since the 1920s.

Parks, allotment gardens and farming patches in the city area should be conserved, as they add to the quality of life of the citizens. Martikainen says that there is room for more innovative solutions in ‘greening up’ the city, for example transforming roofs of buildings for farming purposes, and taking courtyards into better use. “The green areas create a relaxed and friendly atmosphere in the city, and they are also important meeting places for people”. Gardens and parks are not called the ‘lungs of the city’ in vain, they offer an escape from the hectic urban life for a moment. Or can you imagine anything more relaxing than to take off your shoes, close your eyes, and slowly dip your toes into the soft, new grass?

For more information on community gardening and farming, check out these websites:

http://kaupunkiviljely.fi, http://ruokaosuuskunta.fi/,

The Reputation of Antichrist

Antichrist, a film by the Danish director Lars von Trier, was hugely controversial and divisive as soon as it was released back in 2009. At its center, Antichrist is about a couple dealing with the tragic death of their only son. Besought with grief, the mother begins to undergo therapy at a hospital but the husband, a therapist himself, quickly takes her out of the hospital and decides to treat her himself without the help of drugs. Technically, the film is a horror film but it’s not the kind of film you would necessarily except from that genre. It deals with such themes as the overwhelming power of grief, the nature of humans, and the idea of inherent evil.
I originally intended to write this article intending to discredit the reputation of Antichrist. By reputation, I’m not talking about the film’s reputation amongst critics but instead I’m referring to the reputation the film has amongst people that haven’t actually even seen it. However, after re-watching the film last night, I feel like I need to rethink my strategy

My First Experience
I remember being one of those people who hadn’t seen the film but had heard horror stories about the graphic and disturbing content in the film. I never really heard specifics but, as it so often is, the less you know, the scarier it is (thanks to the wondrous powers of imagination). It was, without a doubt, a film whose reputation strongly preceded it and I had basically made up my mind that I wouldn’t ever watch it. But then I did… And a funny thing happened: I loved it. For the next couple of days, I found myself constantly asking people whether they’d seen it and, perhaps unsurprisingly, the vast majority of people reacted with a resounding “ewwwww” followed by a “no, I haven’t seen it”. I found myself thinking that these people had a false perception of the film…
My first experience watching this film happened at around 3am at a friend’s house while we were both in a slightly dazed mindset, this being a result of the night’s alcoholic beverages and the fact that it was 3 in the fucking morning. In some respects though, it felt like the perfect way to watch it because, despite the frequent breaks to go out for a smoke or to make another drink, I found myself, in my dazed state, feeling entranced by the visuals of the film… And the funniest and most unexpected thing was that what really got to me during the first experience was not the graphic content, but the undeniably beautiful shots sprinkled throughout the film. There are shots within this film that resemble paintings in their breathtaking, stylized imagery and very minimal usage of motion; they feature a lone character slowly drifting through the scenery like a beautiful spirit. These shots, in their breathtaking beauty, were so unexpected and so captivating that they were what stuck with me most during that first viewing. I soon found myself thinking that the truth about the disturbing content of the film had been exaggerated to the extent that, in the eyes of most, the film was unwatchable. Yet I had watched it. I had survived. And I had been entranced.
In writing this article, my initial idea was to tell people “don’t let the reputation of this film scare you off from watching it because the disturbing content is really not that bad”. However, upon my second viewing of the film, I feel it’s not quite that simple anymore…

My Second Experience
I re-watched this film last night, only two weeks after I had first seen it and this was an altogether different experience. This time, I watched it by myself, I watched it sober, and I watched it at around 10pm. I shut myself into my own room, turned off the lights, and let myself sink into the film without having any breaks or distractions. Once again, I found myself being captivated by the film, though it was a rather different kind of captivation. The beautiful images still entranced me, yet the eeriness of them was much more pronounced this time around. The violent imagery was far more disturbing and the subtle horrors of the situation far more visible. By the end of the film, I found myself feeling exhausted and drained yet I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t sleep for quite a while afterwards. As I lay in bed unable to sleep, I realized that my opinion of the film had, in some respects, changed.

Should You Watch It?
To an extent, what you’ve heard about this film holds true: it is a film with some highly disturbing and violent imagery. Some people have deemed many of these scenes to be unnecessary and exploitive; Lars von Trier doesn’t hold back and, in the eyes of some, he probably even goes further than he needs to. On the other hand, I find myself wondering whether the film would work as well without these scenes. And this is what brings me to my main point about this film: yes, there are disturbing shots throughout this film yet the reputation of this film has led many to focus simply on that aspect of the film. In the eyes of many who haven’t actually seen the film, they think only of the grotesque imagery and I feel that is a disservice to the film itself. Grotesque visuals alone would not have been enough to get me to feel the way I did after watching Antichrist for the second time. The repulsive visuals certainly are present and effective, but the film on the whole works because of the things around the grotesque visuals which are handled expertly by von Trier and the cinematographer, Anthony Dod Mantel. Yes, there are some truly horrific scenes in this film that are difficult to watch; there were actually two scenes in this film that I pretty much refused to re-watch. However, in addition to the visually horrific scenes, he also uses a lot of more subtle techniques such as breaking several rules of cinema to create the sense of unease. It is really through their expert mixing of the beautiful and the horrific, the explicit and the subtle, and the fantastic with the mundane, that makes his film get under your skin.
In the end, my original thesis stands to a certain extent: don’t let the reputation of this film scare you off from watching it but do be aware that there actually is some truth to its reputation. The falsehood comes from the belief that this is all that there is to Antichrist when it clearly isn’t. If you can stomach some disturbingly graphic and sexual scenes, you’ll find a film that, while punishing you with sickening content, it also rewards you with beautiful imagery and a haunting atmosphere. At this point, I think it’s safe to say that I’m still digesting this film and I’m not even sure I fully understand it yet. In some respects, I’m still grappling with the idea whether a certain scene or two were really necessary or not… In saying this, I’m not even sure whether the film will work as well for you as it did for me… However, at the very least, it is a film that will demand you talk about it with others and, for me, that is one of the best things I can ever say about a film. You won’t forget it anytime soon.

Horse Latitudes Release Awakening – BTSB Reviews

After a strictly enforced embargo, I’m finally able to express my admiration and enthusiasm over Horse Latitudes’ brand-spanking new album Awakening. Having sold out the first printing of their 12” split with Hooded Menace, the band seems to have gotten the ball rolling big time. In May they support Jex Thoth at Kuudes Linja in Helsinki, a mere week after returning from Moscow where they play with Moon Mistress. The internet is startling to bustle over Awakening as well.

On the new album the doom-metal trio continues its seemingly minimalist assault of two bass-guitars and drums, but manages to conquer new ground. The band sounds like its in the zone, in a dark flow-state, in regards to songwriting. Interesting permutations of their basic soundscape – the droning, ponderous and quaking onslaught of bass tones – are starting to emerge on Awakening. From rampaging stampedes, like on “Decline of the Ages” or at the very end of the last track “Along the Circles”, to the weird gongs and guttural chants, taking the listener to the unholy temples on the unspeakable Plateau of Leng, on “Profane Awakening”, Horse Latitudes demonstrate vision and imagination in their approach to music.

The band is out to show that the presumed limitations of their choice of instruments does not slow them down in any way. The same goes for their approach to their genre niche. Awakening is not your run-of-the-mill doom metal album, it is a work of art, complex, polished, but still raw and personal, eliciting emotion and spacing-out in the careful listener. This is not an album to play while mindlessly driving around in your -88 Corolla, it is an experience to be enjoyed in the twilit evenings of the dark Finnish winter, or by witchfires on Midsummer night.

Despite its heaviness and average song length of seven minutes, the pieces on Awakening do not swivel to boredom. Unlike some progressive metal bands (yes, I’m looking at Dream Theater), length is not an end in itself for Horse Latitudes. Extended instrumental parts do a job, they paint landscapes, fit seamlessly together, and don’t merely demonstrate quirks of technique.

The musicianship throughout the album is excellent and my inferior hearing organs don’t find anything to complain about production quality either: Vocals deserve an extra smiley-face sticker. Harri is doing an excellent, varied job, from clean vocals to anguished shrieks and growls. This, to me, shows an understanding of nyance and feeling that is needed for vocal work to make an impression on the listener.

Overall, Awakening is a superb continuation to the debut Gathering, starting from the same premise, but widening it towards the dark, cold reaches of stars and ocean depths. A must buy for anyone into doses of doom and gloom and for those interested in the direction Finnish metal is being taken. Horse Latitudes are an apt helmsman joining in on that exploration.

To listen to two preview tracks from Awakening, head here.
After doing that, get the album here.

While waiting for delivery, listen to Gathering, Horse Latitudes’ debut, here.

Hello everyone!

Due to an extended holiday over Christmas, BTSB at the Movies! has been absent for several months. However that time has allowed this reviewer to see several movies currently in cinemas, so this month we’re going to skip the traditional DVD review and go with two current reviews instead. Enjoy!

This Month’s Reviews: ‘The Iron Lady’

The term ‘The Iron Lady’ was first bestowed upon then opposition leader Margaret Thatcher by Russian military journalist Captain Yuri Gavrilov in an article published in the Soviet newspaper Red Star in 1976 – his memorable description came to represent both her character and her overriding political philosophy for the remainder of her career. Based on the extraordinary rise and equally epic fall of the former British Prime Minister, The Iron Lady tells the story of Thatcher’s early life, her entry into politics as a young woman, and her eventual ascent to the very top of Britain’s political establishment during the 1970’s, including the many obstacles she faced in attaining that position as a woman working within an almost exclusively male realm. Told in the form of flashbacks, the now elderly and retired Baroness Thatcher recalls the important milestones achieved throughout a long life, a life that would eventually see her requiring the supervision of nannies whilst living alone, battling dementia.

For many years now it has been generally accepted that Meryl Streep (Kramer vs. Kramer, Sophie’s Choice) is incapable of giving a bad performance, and this latest starring role in The Iron Lady will only serve to reinforce that belief. Streep is predictably terrific in depicting Thatcher both at the height of her powers, and as the frail, often confused retiree that she is portrayed as here. After having viewed old footage of Thatcher taken throughout her career, Streep appears to have done a remarkable job of mimicking many of Thatcher’s gestures and mannerisms, as well as in capturing her overall presence, and whilst judging accents that are not our own is always a risky business, she certainly seems to have done a fine job of emulating Thatcher’s distinctive voice too. Streep is surrounded by a supporting cast that includes the wonderful Jim Broadbent, (Moulin Rouge! Iris) and Richard E. Grant, (Gosford Park, Corpse Bride), and was directed by Phyllida Lloyd, who also directed Streep in the spectacularly successful Mamma Mia!, which stunned Hollywood in 2008 by riding its paltry 52 million dollar budget to world-wide box-office takings of over 600 million – a result that no doubt played a large part in winning Lloyd the directing job here.

In spite of Streep’s performance however, The Iron Lady is ultimately a rather disappointing film. The plot never achieves any great heights, and as it progresses it often feels as though it is merely ticking off a list of achievements on Thatcher’s resumé – an unquestionably remarkable life is reduced to a series of clunky observations, related without any great perception or insight into the woman herself. The flashback strategy as a means of cinematic storytelling is by now terribly clichéd, and so the audience is here offered nothing interesting or new. A talented supporting cast is given too little screen time and ultimately wasted as little more than window-dressing for Streep – in particular Jim Broadbent as Maggie’s husband Denis Thatcher is both under-used and mis-directed, his few memorable moments becoming lost within a performance made to appear clownish and annoying rather than sympathetic. The Iron Lady also suffers from what was undoubtedly an anaemic budget, with the larger set pieces intended to depict several Conservative Party conferences, as well as various debates within the House of Commons, appearing rather amateurish on screen, and failing to capture any of the tension or excitement that the real events so often convey on television.

Putting aside the fact that it is ultimately a fairly uninteresting story, I would say that The Iron Lady is still worth seeing for Streep’s performance alone, but wait until it comes out on DVD. There is really nothing especially epic or cinematic about The Iron Lady that will be lost in the transfer from the big screen to your T.V screen, and you’ll still get to appreciate one of the great performances of 2011 whilst saving yourself a few bucks in the process.

BTSB’s Rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

…and ‘J.Edgar.’

In Director Clint Eastwood’s J. Edgar, we have, as with The Iron Lady, a biopic of one of the most controversial yet iconic figures of the twentieth century. After completing a law degree at George Washington University, J. Edgar Hoover was hired by the Justice Department where he was quickly appointed to lead the newly-formed General Intelligence Division. From there he rose through the ranks to become the director of the Bureau of Investigation in 1924. Renamed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in 1935, Hoover remained its Director until his death in 1972, taking the F.B.I from a little respected and largely unknown entity, to become the premier domestic law enforcement agency within the United States, along the way championing many initiatives that have now become cornerstones of law enforcement strategy worldwide, such as the creation of a fingerprint database, as well as the funding of scientific laboratories devoted to the thorough and systematic analysis of evidence. However he would also ultimately come to be accused of a number of serious offenses, including the extortion of many politicians and prominent public figures, as well as for having illegally obtained evidence.

An impressive cast is lead by Leonardo Di Caprio (The Departed, Inception) as the title character, whilst Armie Hammer (Blackout, The Social Network) is, given his status as a relative unknown in Hollywood, perhaps surprisingly cast in the important role of Clyde Tolson, Hoover’s right-hand-man and oft-rumoured lover. Judy Dench (Shakespeare in Love, Notes on a Scandal) plays Anna Marie Hoover, J.Edgar’s imposing mother, whilst Naomi Watts (Mulholland Drive, 21 Grams) rounds out the principal cast as Helen Gandy, Hoover’s loyal and long-serving personal secretary. The one and only Clint Eastwood (Unforgiven, Million Dollar Baby) directs, whilst the screenplay was written by Dustin Lance Black, Academy Award winning writer of Milk.

Given the pedigree of its director, writer and cast, J.Edgar unfortunately proves to be a very flawed and surprisingly boring film. In real life Hoover threatened and butted heads with some of the most powerful men of the twentieth century, yet many of these scenes are only hinted at without ever being depicted on screen. Even worse, one of the few such occasions that is shown – a potentially explosive meeting between Hoover and Attorney General Robert Kennedy – contains so little tension that it may as well have been cut out of the film altogether. Without glossing over his many immoral and often probably illegal actions – not to mention his numerous, serious character flaws – Eastwood tries to portray Hoover as a visionary in the field of law enforcement, and with some success. However Hoover is such a deeply unsympathetic character that the film really needed to have a far greater sense of dramatic urgency in order to maintain the audience’s interest, and that urgency simply isn’t there. What we get instead is a long (137 minutes) and rather bland tale of a man who spends most of his time in his office concocting evil schemes, or relating the obviously and deliberately biased account of his career to a series of increasingly disinterested biographers, a method of storytelling that is perhaps even more unoriginal than that employed in The Iron Lady. Unsurprisingly, this does not make for compelling viewing.

Perhaps worst of all however, in stark contrast to The Iron Lady, in which the long life of Margaret Thatcher is portrayed by several different actors suited to her age at the time represented, the three leading roles in J.Edgar are portrayed across a span of more than four decades by the same actors – Leonardo Di Caprio, Armie Hammer and Naomi Watts, who are all aged on screen through the use of make-up and prosthetics – and it doesn’t work. Rather than assisting the audience to lose themselves in the story, I was instead provided with a constant reminder of the fact that I was watching Leonardo Di Caprio, Naomi Watts and the dude who played the Winklevoss twins covered in a ton of make-up and rubber. All three are fine when portraying their characters at a younger age – in fact Armie Hammer as the young Tolson is perhaps the best thing about the whole movie. However, neither Di Caprio nor Hammer are convincing in their depiction of the frailty of movement associated with old age, whilst Watts is not seen often enough to be able to make a lasting impression one way or the other. The inescapable conclusion to be drawn here is that the film would have been far better served by just having the elderly Hoover, Tolson and Gandy played by actors that were more suited to their age at that time.

As a result, J.Edgar is not a film worth going to see. The story lacks dramatic interest and the performances are simply not that memorable – a fact that is as much the fault of the script and direction as it is the actors, who are rarely given very much to work with. Which is a shame, since a life such as that of Hoover is surely capable of being depicted in a far more interesting and memorable way. If you’re especially interested in Hoover or the evolution of the F.B.I, perhaps grab this once it comes out on DVD. Otherwise, J.Edgar is a movie that you can probably live without seeing.

BTSB’s Rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

My mom sits in the car next to me. I know that the time has come. The time to come clean. I’ve thought about this long and hard and I’ve come to a conclusion: The lying and the hiding have to end. The strange packages in my room demand an explanation. My tongue feels stiff and my palms are sweating. This is the woman who raised me, she loves me no matter what happens, I keep telling myself. “Mom”. Her head turns and I know I just need to spill it out.

“Mom. I’m a comic book fan”

It all started with The Phantom, like so many stories do (they don’t? Odd.). My big brother was a hardcore Phantom fan, he even belonged to the Phantom pen pals club. He kept his comics in neat files in chronological order (a habit I’ll probably never tackle). One time he wasn’t around so I took some magazines and started flipping through them. Before that I had only read Donald Duck and some Garfield, which both I liked, but not as much as those Phantoms! The pages were full of action, gorgeous women and handsome muscular men punching bad guys with sounds like “Pow!”

I kept my new interest to myself, but soon it became out of control: I realized that you could actually buy magazines, which were twice as cool as the Phantoms. I dived into the world of X-Men and Batman faster than Quicksilver travels to Rome and back. As a teenager I started to seriously accrete my very own comic collection with classic Batman graphic novels and other series I liked. Although from the very beginning I liked all kinds of comics, such as Marjane Satrapi’s Persepolis books, I never really got over the whole superhero comic genre.

There’s something wonderful about a world where there’s ultimate justice, which can solve big and scary problems; where ordinary people get super strong because something bites them or they are born with the right genes; where puberty could bring you other cool powers, not only the power to grow huge zits on the top of your nose.

However, from the very beginning of my superhero fanhood, I realized something: The female characters were portrayed in a very different way than the male ones. Their appearances, attitudes and portrayal were different. When talking about superhero comics, I speak mostly about the Batman/DC universe and the Marvel Universe heroes. I’ve followed these magazines in Finnish and collected graphic novels from abroad for many many years now. So even though these are only the opinions of one comic book fangirl, at least she has some experience with her subject matter.

First thing anyone reading superhero comics notices about the women in them is that they are portrayed…the same way. When flipping through my magazines over the years it’s noticeable that their bodies are exactly the same: tall, big breasts, long hair (it was a scandal when Storm cut her hair, luckily now it’s back to her thighs), narrow waistline, but really big muscular thighs. And not only are their features similar, but so is their whole outline. They actually look like they came out of the same crazy alluring-hottie gingerbread mold.

One could argue that hey, the men are all muscular and big, there’s really no difference. But I disagree: For example when thinking about the Marvel universe and the X-Men, even the main male characters are different: Wolverine is clearly portrayed shorter and stuckier than for example Cyclops. Iceman is way thinner than both of them and the beloved Beast is much chunkier than the rest of his team. Even obesity is reserved for male characters: In the X-Men there’s a permanent character, Blob (even though he’s a villain), who is obese. I remember one obese female character from the series some years ago but she was killed in a shooting something like two pages after her introduction.

Another trend in the X-Men is that radical mutations only appear in the male characters. In a storyline published in Finland around 2004, a fly girl and a chicken boy mate and have children. Other mutants are shocked, because they have no idea how deformed the kids of two radically altered mutant parents will be. They both are referred as radically changed and yeah, the boy, Barnell Bohusk, is covered in feathers, has a beak, wings and two enormous round black eyes. But the girl’s, Angel’s, radical genetic change is the fact that she has beautiful transparent insect wings. Super rad. Oh, and the kids were fine, I think Angel named them after the Jackson Five or something.

A second major noticeable thing about female superheroes are the legendary scarce outfits and the poses that make sure their backs sure as hell hurt in the evenings (try doing the ass and tits pose ten times a day and you understand). The costumes always have their defenders: “But they’re so handy and convenient for their powers! Psylocke must not wear any pants so she can wave her katana in the air freely! No, not even the really tight ones, they would umm.. ruin the… Yeah”. When the male characters need something that’s convenient for their powers, it doesn’t matter what it looks like: the potty in Magneto’s head is the best example.

Also when looking at some classic X-Men couples you can see the difference clearly. While Cyclops has pants and a shirt, Emma Frost has something on her that cannot stay up without superglue. Polaris has some kind of green swimsuit with holes on her while her partner Havok has an overall. Black Panther has an overall and a matching mask but Storm doesn’t need pants. You would think that a friggin queen could afford some pants and not only a black swimsuit/disco aerobic outfit!

And don’t get me wrong, there’s absolutely nothing wrong in being sexy, it’s just that comics keep telling us that there’s only one kind of sexiness. The one with swimsuits and ass ant tits pose.

Not only are the female characters similar outside, they resemble each other inside too. The classic villain scheme for male villains from Brain to Magneto has always been world domination. For female villains the interests and motivations are a little different. The worst female character to rock the Marvel universe in years was Scarlet Witch gone bad. And her motivations? She used her magic to get pregnant and give birth to two sons, but the other mutants tried to tell her they weren’t real. She also got really pissed off with her dad, Magneto. So the reasons for her to kill her husband and close friends and to turn the world upside down is…daddy issues.

So what is the effect of portraying female characters always the same way? Nothing less than that they lose a part of their personality in the process. When the most important thing for women characters is looking pretty and sexy at all times and their actions circle around it, this leads to a point where their characteristics cannot be advanced very far and they become only objects (the case with Wonder Woman) or disposable. The latter generates new kinds of phenomena, such as the “Women in refrigerators”.

Because my Phoenix telepathic skills still need some practicing, I cannot tell you exactly why this is the comic reality, I can just guess and deduce. One classical, not so original, guess is that all the cartoonists and readers are men. Well, for obvious reasons that ain’t the truth, but there’s a seed of truth on the top of that strawberry. Many superhero comics seem to be marketed for men. Maybe there isn’t enough faith that female readers are interested in heroes too. Here’s a crazy thought for you: maybe if the reputation of superhero comics wouldn’t be all that ass and titties stuffed in leather, the magazines would catch more girl fans. Just a thought.

In addition one could imagine a much grimmer reason behind all this. Maybe all of this comes from the fact that in our society, women cannot have great plans to rule the world and the most important thing is to take care of your precious womb. Maybe the cartoonists think that female characters don’t deserve more characteristics, they’re fine as puppets and objects.

Naww. Just that I don’t lose my good night sleeps, I’m going with the reason that drawers cannot draw proper women and should do some anatomical studies (no, the breasts cannot be bigger than her head and the hips and shoulder are approximately the same width).

So, after reading these comics and observing the issues above, why do I still read them? Many have asked how I can call myself a feminist and still read all that crap with those ladies whose ultimate power seems to be bending their backs into unnatural positions while making a duckface? Well, because often the plots are actually pretty good, you get attached to the characters (no matter how shallow sometimes) and luckily, this industry has showed me that there still are drawers who master the art of drawing women beyond beauteous orbs and writers who appreciate the women enough to give them proper motivations and roles in the storylines. In the X-Men saga going on at the moment in the Finnish X-Men the main characters name is Hope, maybe she’s a sign.

(You might be wondering, what happened with my ma? In the end, she still cooks when I come over, so I take it that she still loves me. I even let her get used to the idea of her daughter being a comic geek before telling her about my dinosaur obsess– hobby.)

It was one lonely Christmas eve that I found myself surfing the internet, looking for stuff to do in between cleaning up cat vomit and saying “humbug” a lot, when I suddenly remembered an internet phenomena that had been puzzling me for the longest time: the adoption of My Little Pony as an object of fandom among grown men.

I had heard talk of bronies, i.e. male fans of My Little Pony, and the new My Little Pony TV-series, subtitled Friendship is Magic, before, but had not delved very deeply into the subject matter to form an opinion. Simply put, I was puzzled by the fact that a show aimed at girls and about traditionally girly stuff (oh how wrong I was in thinking that) could become such a huge hit among adult males. So, that night I decided to cast off my prejudices and give the show a shot, if only to find out what all the fuss was about.

At the end of the first season I realized that I had a problem.

The Beginning: From Traditional Girl’s Show to a Show with an Agenda

The theme of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is, unsurprisingly, friendship. While not an alien concept to children’s TV, especially shows aimed at girls, the treatment the new series gives to the theme is nearly unprecedented. The show, conceived by Lauren Faust of Powerpuff Girls fame, focuses on the exploits and everyday lives of six ponies, whom TV Tropes refers to as the “mane cast:” (Thank you for that horrible pun, TV Tropes.) the bookish Twilight Sparkle, the down-to-earth Applejack, the kind but apprehensive Fluttershy, the brash Rainbow Dash, the cheerful and eccentric Pinkie Pie and the stylish and classy Rarity. An important part of the show’s dynamic is the wildly varied and occasionally conflicting personalities of the six ponies, who yet remain the bestest of friends through thick and thin.

The heterogenous natures of the mane cast (I’m never going to stop using that expression, ever.) only emphasizes another key theme of the show: the show’s creator, Lauren Faust, an unashamed feminist with an agenda, has gone on record to say that the wildly varied and sometimes nontraditionally girly personalities of the ponies (i.e. Rainbow Dash is extremely competitive, a feature that is not traditionally seen as feminine and Applejack is a hard worker who doesn’t mind getting her hooves dirty; even the most traditionally effemate of the ponies, Rarity, a follower of fashion, is portrayed as an artisan and not a shopaholic) are part of an agenda to demonstrate to girls that there is more than one way of being a girl and that not all girls have to be the same. In a time when most kids’ shows still get by with having a token girl character who is characterized mainly by the fact that she is a girl, My Little Pony’s variety of female role models is breath-takingly huge.

My Little Pony: Testosterone is Magic

So, what is it about Friendship is Magic that has managed to attract such a wide audience, consisting even of grown-up men? Again, most of it is a result of Lauren Faust’s own take on the girl’s show. A common criticism of shows aimed at girls in earlier decades has been easily summed up as follows: shows aimed at girls have very little conflict, whereas shows aimed at boys are almost entirely built around conflict. In recent years this assumption has been broken time and time again, with KimPossible deserving a special mention for being an animated show about a girl who doesn’t shy away from action.

Similarly, each episode of Friendship is Magic usually revolves around some larger conflict, because Lauren Faust has realized that girls enjoy action and scary exciting stuff just as much as boys do. This leads to a show where the storylines are often in line with the tropes of traditional heroic fantasy, with the mane cast occasionally having to deal with supernatural threats to their community, but in line with the show’s theme of friendship said conflict isn’t overcome with swords and sorcery, but the solution usually lies in the ponies working together as friends to resolve the conflict.

An equally important point is that the show is simply well-written: I know it’s a dead horse trope at this point, but the writing of the show implies that the writers understand that shows like this are occasionally watched by adults (usually the parents of the children the shows are aimed at) and the writers have taken the approach of writing in the occasional obtuse joke that will fly over the heads of the children. A similar approach was taken by the similarly legendary Animaniacs, which was actually extremely raunchy at times. (Not that I ever got the dirty bits of the jokes as a kid.) Similarly to Animaniacs, a lot of the show’s humor relies on good dialogue, sight gags and the occasional bit of physical comedy, as well as the reality-defying and occasionally fourth-wall breaking nature of the animation medium. (The most obvious example of this is the character of Pinkie Pie, to whom the laws of physics and the existence of the fourth wall seem to be merely suggestions.)

The show’s appeal to grown men is simply a reflection of the fact that while being primarily marketed towards girls the show does not suffer from the same pitfalls as previous attempts at making TV shows for girls, but the show’s themes are also universal regardless of one’s gender and age. The good writing and humour is just gravy.

Conclusion

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is a well-written and thoughtful kids show. While mainly written for girls, the show’s themes and humour have a lot of appeal to people regardless of age and gender, as long as one is willing to look past the fact that they are watching a kids’ show about talking technicolor equines. I heartily recommend the show to everyone who can appreciate good humour and feels in touch with the little girl inside of them.

I myself remain committed to watching the show and appreciating it as a landmark for what a girls’ show is allowed to be. I also remain committed to proudly displaying my figurines of the mane cast proudly on my bookshelf.

Why? Fuck you, that’s why.

‘Tis the season again! Christmas is upon us and as we head towards the end of the year to get some well-deserved rest before the academic year recommences! To celebrate, we here at BTSB would like to present to you some songs to make your holiday season all the more enjoyable!

Darlene Love – Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

“It is amazing that although dealing with a somewhat melancholic theme, the Americans have the ability to make the song sound cheery and energetic. In comparison: a Finnish song that deals about decorating the Christmas tree (‘Joulupuu on rakennettu’) could be sung in a funeral and no one could tell the difference. Besides, everyone could use a little Motown spirit for Christmas!”

Hassisen Kone – On jouluyö, nyt laulaa saa

“Sorry people of the English-speaking world, but not one of your artist has ever written a better Christmas song. This song combines harsh realism and criticism of the human condition without succumbing to preaching with the mood and feel of the Christmas night when the TV’s on a dead channel, there are still boxes of chocolate to crack and you’ve just only started the book you got. “On jouluyö, nyt laulaa saa” simply takes me to that place of contemplating peace, love and understanding. There’d be no Christmas without it. The beautiful organ doesn’t hurt either. ”

Parry Gripp – Disco Christmas in Hamster Land

“I’m one of those people who can’t stand Christmas songs so here’s a little something from Parry Gripp. I guarantee you this will get stuck in your head and resistance is futile. Give into Disco Christmas. And hamsters.”

Basement 5 – Last White Christmas

“Like the person above, I’m not much of a Christmas person, but this song by one of Britain’s premier ska-punk bands Basement 5 is at least tangentially related to Christmas. It might not be all that jolly and cheerful, but it’s a great example of punk in its early days. Also, down with Thatcher!”

Juice Leskinen – Kuusessa ollaan

“Sadly this is only in Finnish, although the groove doesn’t need translation. Leskinen captures the essence of opposing the Christmas traditions and provoking people. At the same time, it’s a jolly and a merry song, which boosts my Christmas mood!”

This Month’s Review: ‘The Tree of Life.’

Have you ever left a movie theatre before the film had ended? I can honestly say that I never have. (Well, except for that one time I went to see ‘Monster’s Ball‘ in London and the cinema’s fire alarm went off ten minutes before the end, but that’s another story…) I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting what movies I’ll like these days, so it’s rare that I find myself shocked by how awful a movie turns out to be. But on the rare occasions in the past that I have found myself watching something terrible, why didn’t I just get up and leave? After giving this some thought I decided that there are two reasons. The first is that I don’t want to feel as though my time and money has been wasted. This is not entirely logical, I know, since my money has already been spent, and by choosing to stay I’m obviously wasting more time, not less – but there you go. The second reason is story. It almost doesn’t matter how bad a movie happens to be, once I’ve devoted a certain amount of time to it I want to know how it ends – even if in the process I’m being bored completely out of my mind.

Which brings us to The Tree of Life. From acclaimed writer/director Terrence Malick, (Badlands, The Thin Red Line) The Tree of Life stars Brad Pitt (Fight Club, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Sean Penn (Dead Man Walking, Milk) and Jessica Chastain (Stolen, Coriolanus). To try to describe the plot to you would be both pointless and misleading, since by any reasonable standard there is no plot. The Tree of Life begins with a middle-aged married couple learning of the death of their son. What follows is a truly epic exploration into the miracle of life and the grand scale of evolution, highlighting both their beauty and their complexity. From the grieving couple we are thrown back in time, all the way back to the birth of the universe, from where we begin a seemingly endless journey through the entire history of life on earth – from the first single cell organisms, to complex sea creatures, to the first appearance of amphibians on land, to the dinosaurs, mammals and finally, we humans. When at last we are returned to the grieving parents, we now see them several decades earlier, at the point when they begin to raise their three young sons. Much of the remainder of the film then consists of a long series of disjointed scenes through which we learn of their respective personalities, and how these in turn impact upon them as parents. The father ruling his family with strict detachment, the mother offering nothing but unconditional love – both leaving a deep impression upon the lives of their children.

The Tree of Life has been receiving rave reviews from many critics, and won the prestigious Palme d’Or at this year’s Cannes Film Festival. It is absolutely beautiful to look at, and highly original in its sheer scope and grandeur. It presents an unashamedly emotional portrait of life in all its beauty and wonder, exploring the themes of family, nature, religion, grief, and ultimately, the acceptance that all things must change. Unfortunately however, it is also boring, pretentious, self-indulgent nonsense. I can’t recall ever checking the time so often during a movie, wanting to know when the damn thing would finally end – or ever before having silently cheered inside when at last it did, mercifully, reach its conclusion. For all its beauty, originality, and good intentions, at its core The Tree of Life is just unbearably boring – its 2 hour 20 minute running time felt at least twice that long.

The best way I can think of to explain to you what The Tree of Life is like is to say that you shouldn’t really think of it as a movie in the conventional sense at all. It’s more like one of those abstract films with no storyline you occasionally see exhibited in art galleries – the ones that you never get the point of and have no real interest in, but sit down to watch for five minutes anyway, just to give your feet a rest. But worse than being just long and boring, a great many of the film’s scenes appear to have no purpose whatsoever. Even Sean Penn himself was recently quoted in the French newspaper Le Figaro saying that he was still trying to figure out what the hell his character in the film was supposed to be doing there. I admire Terrence Malick for having tried something so original and abstract, but original and abstract doesn’t always equal good or meaningful. If not for the fact that I wanted to be able to write an informed review of the movie for BTSB I definitely would have walked out well before the ending for the first time in my life – not the least because there was simply no story there to keep me interested enough to stay, and in the end, that’s probably all I really need to say regarding what I thought about The Tree of Life. My advice? Wait until it comes out on DVD. And then don’t rent it.

BTSB’s Rating : ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

DVD Pick: ‘The Thin Red Line.’

After trashing The Tree of Life I wanted to give Terrence Malick a chance to redeem himself, so I decided to take a look at his 1998 war epic, The Thin Red Line. Based on James Jones’ 1962 novel of the same name, The Thin Red Line tells the story of the U.S effort to halt the southward advance of the Japanese through the islands of the Pacific during World War II. It begins with Private Witt (Jim Caviezel) enjoying an idyllic existence among the natives of an island in the South Pacific, however we soon learn that he has gone AWOL, and before long he is captured by First Sergeant Welsh (Sean Penn) and returned to his unit, which has been brought in to reinforce a recent invasion of Guadalcanal. Following their landing on the island, we witness Charlie Company progress unopposed through the jungle until they reach a fearsome Japanese machine gun bunker located on a strategically important ridge – the first of many such obstacles they will encounter as they attempt to gain control of the island, whilst battling rugged terrain, a heartless C.O (Nick Nolte) willing to sacrifice them all for the sake of the mission, and their own gnawing fear.

In many ways overshadowed by Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan that was released the same year, The Thin Red Line nevertheless attracted a great deal of critical acclaim, including 7 Academy Award nominations. Shot on location in northern Australia and the Solomon Islands, it contains some of the most beautiful cinematography I’ve ever seen in a film – the many jungle sequences in particular featuring extraordinary colour and contrasts of light and shadow, which perfectly highlight the beauty of the natural surroundings. Combined with a score from the legendary Hans Zimmer, The Thin Red Line is absolutely beautiful to both listen to and look at. The movie also features an all-star cast, which in addition to Caviezel, Penn and Nolte, includes Woody Harrelson, Jared Leto, John Cusack, Adrien Brody, John C. Reilly, and in blink-or-you’ll-miss-them cameo performances, George Clooney and John Travolta.

Where Malick falls down once again however is in the story, which whilst stronger than the non-existent plot of The Tree of Life, could still only be described as flimsy at best. Malick truly appears to have a deep disdain for plot, preferring instead to merely drift from scene to scene, and allow the camera to linger wherever he feels like for however long he feels it should be there. The result is a film of epic proportions – The Thin Red Line comes in at a whopping 2 hours 50 minutes, reportedly edited down from the original director’s cut of over 5 hours. In its defense however, the movie does not feel exceptionally long, although it could definitely have stood to be at least another half-hour shorter. But for its length, its flimsy plot, and Malick’s insistence on once again conveying the innermost thoughts of his characters through an annoyingly constant form of ethereal, whispered voiceover, The Thin Red Line could easily have stamped itself as a modern classic. Instead it falls a step or two short, however that is still enough to earn it the title of being a very good film, and well worth a look the next time you find yourself with a spare 3 hours on your hands.

BTSB’s Rating : ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

On a dark and gloomy night in October I was making my way to Ravintolalaiva Wäiski on the shores of Hakaniemi. It was already nearing nine PM and the event I was making my way to, SUB’s Band Night, had supposedly started at half past eight. Whoops. Still, down I went to Wäiski, making my way through the wardrobe and down the stairs.

As luck would have it, I had yet to miss a single act, as the first performer, Aatu Liimatta, was only just about to get started with his set. After a brief introduction by the master (mistress?) of ceremonies, Pilvi Kirppu, Aatu went on to play a set with just him and his keyboard. His set, a series of songs both melancholy and uplifting, some his own and some borrowed from others, was a nice start to the evening, while it did suffer from problems with Wäiski’s sound system: it was oftentimes hard to make out the music from under the general hubbub of people talking with their friends. Still, a solid performance all in all.

The evening’s next performance was from singer-songwriter Peter Tierney with backing from two members of Inuit Kunt by way of drums and guitar. Peter’s performance was a melancholy yet oddly energetic form of pop rock, described as “A hybrid mix of Shaggy (not as black), Dylan (not as good) and Pogues (more teeth, less drunk)” with a heavy dose of self-deprecation in his song introductions and general banter with the audience in between songs. Unfortunately it was during his performance that I had to depart the venue for a while to get some cash from the nearest ATM, as my over-reliance on my Visa Electron proved to be my failing that particular night. However, I was able to make it back to the venue just when he was getting to the end of his set to hear his absolutely inspired song titled, to my understanding, “Fuck You.” A very direct and sincere greeting to trolls on the internet, the song was absolutely fantastic and a great way to bring his performance to a close.

The evening’s penultimate act was Drebin, undoubtedly the greatest band with members studying English Philology at the University of Helsinki with a name taken from a character played by the late Leslie Nielsen. Their first song of the night was a slow and almost ethereal bit of art-rock which elicited the reaction of “This is so Twin Peaks!” from one of my colleagues. The comparison to the David Lynch TV show only held water for the first song, as after that the band broke into a set of extremely energetic and simply fun indie rock. Containing their old songs from last year’s band night and some new ones along with some covers, the set was a riot to watch and listen, in spite of the aforementioned problems with the sound systems that made it quite hard to hear singer Klaus Nuotto’s voice over the loud music. Still, good times were had by all.

The evening was brought to a close with a performance by Inuit Kunt, another band that had their debut performance at last year’s band night. Playing a very dirty and fresh style of punk rock, the band started their set unannounced, but left nobody in doubt of who was playing. A set of fun, raw and fast punk rock ensued without the technical difficulties that had plagued the previous performers, largely due to the fact that singer Marty channeled his voice into a very loud punk rock growl. The band was supported on some songs by a saxophonist, but to my disappointment his input into the many songs was simply to punctuate the rest of the music at odd intervals. I would’ve personally liked to hear the saxophone being put to more use, because if there’s something that there’s always more room for in punk rock it’s experimenting with instruments outside the normal set of guitar, bass and drums. Still, the saxophone was a nice touch and the performance in all very entertaining, even inspiring many people to take to the floor and dance.

All of that having been said, SUB’s Band Night was again a resounding success and one can only hope that next year will bring forth even more SUB members’ bands. Come on, we know you’re out there, there’s no need to be shy!

If you’re only going to watch one spooky film every year, you might as well watch it on Halloween. If you’re watching a film on Halloween, you might as well watch one of these, hand-picked for you by the staff of BTSB!

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

“Interview with the vampire is a classic Halloween movie for those of us who tend to get scared by real horror movies. Pretty vampires, good soundtrack and stylish imagery, what else do you need? Works really well if you want to forget Twilight ever happened, this is the real deal.”

The Crow (1994)

“Its legacy surrounded by the tragedy of lead actor Brandon Lee’s death, The Crow is the ultimate modern gothic vampire story around. The aesthetics of gloom and darkness are superbly executed and the flic simply delivers, being both imaginative and still taking what’s best in the genre. Three thumbs up!”

Scream 4 (2011)

“The fourth and most probably last installment of the legendary Scream movies that have had audiences jumping in their seats since the 90s. In my opinion, it’s also the most entertaining and cleverest in its meta aspect. If you haven’t seen all or any of the first movies, don’t worry, you’ve been taken into account. The experience is at its best if you know what’s happened before but even without the context, Scream 4 still achieves its primary goal: it creates suspension and will certainly scare you once or twice. The actors are good, the director does his job well and the story works. Just don’t forget to check your closet after you’ve watched this to avoid the ‘Imagine if the killer was in there…’ thought right after you’ve gone to bed.”

Troll 2 (1990)

“Don’t worry if you haven’t seen the first Troll. This movie is an in-name-only sequel that had its name changed to Troll 2 mid-production to cash in on the meager success of Troll. Anyway, this movie is truly horrible. If you’d rather instead of scaring yourself stiff just have a good laugh this Halloween, you could do a lot worse than to watch Troll 2. Its combination of absurd plot, extremely unsympathetic characters and the best bad acting ever (featuring some of the most emotionless performances in the history of film while also managing to have some great examples of hammy overacting) makes it a movie that is so bad that it’s like watching a trainwreck where all the passengers are clowns. Terrible, yes, but really funny in some perverse sense.”

Stephen King’s IT (1990)

“Simply put, this is the scariest movie I have ever watched in my life. It might have something to do with me being 5 years old and peeping from my room while my parents where watching it, but that clown left me traumatized for life. Even when I watched it at an older age, I still got the creeps from that ugly painted face. Good times.”

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

“One of the most successful independent films of all time, ‘The Blair Witch Project’ started a revolution in filmmaking by being the first film to be primarily marketed via the internet. In conjunction with its documentary style and the fact that the actors’ real names were used in the movie, the marketing of the film was so successful that at the time of its release there was genuine widespread belief that ‘The Blair Witch Project’ was actually real. Also ranked highly on a list of the best cinematic endings of all time.”

Halloween, officially voted the spookiest time of the year in an election that I just made up in my head! As unsightly ghouls and goblins (or children, as they may prefer to be called) roam the earth in search of tricks and treats, it is only customary that the rest of us get in the mood for a bit of spooky fun. Thus, the staff of Better Than Sliced Bread have yet again compiled for you a list of songs to get you in the proper mood for Halloween!

Ghost – Ritual

“Describing itself as a band of nameless ghouls, the prog-powerpop-metal band Ghost is Halloween incarnate. Hailing from the dark land of Sweden, they combine classic 70s guitarwork with Satan and Latin song titles. ‘Ritual’ pretty much speaks for itself: ‘The chapel of ritual smells of dead human sacrifices from the altar bed’
It sure does, doesn’t it?”

This Is Halloween (from The Nightmare Before Christmas)

“Tim Burton’s classic has many catchy, fun songs. My personal favorite is the opening tune which introduces us to the general atmosphere of the story and Halloween Town. Danny Elfman’s scores are hauntingly beautiful, but this one is a great party song for a terrifying get-together with friends. Scary is fun, horrible and a little adorable, and no other song says it with the same poetic lyrics as This Is Halloween.”

The 69 Eyes – Wages of Sin

“Go goth! One of the 69 Eyes’ less known songs, Wages of Sin is from a time when the band had maybe a little more street cred than today. This song belongs on your Halloween playlist.”

Selebrities – Living Dead

“Selebrities is a really cool buzzband from New York that none of you have probably heard of, but that’s not important right now. What makes ‘Living Dead’ such a great Halloween tune is that it manages to do goth without any of the cheese. Imagine the early days of The Cure and Siouxsie and the Banshees, albeit with the lead singer of the two bands having been replaced with a cute little girl. It’s the jangly guitars.”

Rob Zombie – Living Dead Girl

“First song that reminded me of Halloween was, of course, Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Then again, I didn’t want to pick a song that everyone else would be thinking about aswell, so I decided to go for something that everyone might not have heard. So I decided to pick Rob Zombie’s Living Dead Girl (the second choice would’ve been MC Hammer- Cant Touch This). I just think this song gets you in a perfect mood for Halloween.”

Radiohead – A Wolf at the Door

“Awesome band, great song, and a brilliantly creepy film clip that’s perfect for Halloween.”

This Month’s Review: ‘Melancholia.’

Currently showing at Tennispalatsi is Danish writer/director Lars Von Trier’s latest offering, the appropriately entitled Melancholia. Melancholia begins in unconventional fashion with a beautiful extended sequence of very short, seemingly abstract scenes shot in slow-motion – some featuring members of the cast, others apparently random events, but all with little obvious connection to each other. These scenes are inter-cut with views from space of a strange planet gradually approaching the Earth. The entire sequence is set against the backdrop of a grand score that slowly builds until it reaches an overwhelming crescendo, ending only with the complete destruction of Earth as it collides with the unknown planet.

After this dramatic introduction the main story begins. Part one, called ‘Justine’, commences with a newly married couple, Justine (Kirsten Dunst) and Michael (Alexander Skarsgård) on their way to their wedding reception at a lavish country estate. Seemingly happy and apparently very much in love, we are at first given only the slightest hint that the bride perhaps has a tendency to be somewhat irresponsible. However once they arrive and the reception begins, it becomes increasingly clear that Justine in fact has some serious problems. Tensions between her parents, relations and the other assembled guests begin bubbling to the surface as Justine struggles to maintain her composure. Yet despite her best efforts, Justine’s erratic behaviour only becomes ever more bizarre, and the evening eventually ends disastrously for both her and those around her.

Part two entitled, ‘Claire’, takes place in the aftermath of the reception, and focuses primarily upon Justine’s sister. It is finally explained to us that the events we have just witnessed are being overshadowed by the recent discovery of a new planet, ‘Melancholia’, which has been hiding behind the sun and whose trajectory is now due to see it pass close by Earth. Whilst Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) is nervous and fearful of the possibility that Melancholia may actually be on a collision course with Earth, her strict but loving husband John (Kiefer Sutherland) reassures her that there is nothing to fear – that this is a once in a lifetime event that ought to be both celebrated and savoured. However as Melancholia approaches, the threat it poses to their continued existence prompts vastly different responses from Claire and Justine, as they begin to reflect upon the meaning of their lives, and the possibility that all life in the universe is about to come to an end.

Fans of Lars Von Trier (Dancer in the Dark, Anti-Christ) know all too well that after having watched one of his films you don’t generally leave the cinema feeling good about yourself, and Melancholia is no exception. As the title suggests it is a bleak and often unsettling study of life and human relationships. In spite of this though, or perhaps even partly because of it, Melancholia is a truly wonderful film. Von Trier has created a fascinating story filled with complex characters that stay with you long after the closing credits have rolled. Five years after having been booed off stage at Cannes for the deadly boring Marie Antoinette, Kirsten Dunst (Bring it On, Spiderman) returned this year to win the Prix d’Interpretation Feminine (Best Actress) award for her terrific performance as the troubled, erratic, yet strangely insightful Justine. Charlotte Gainsbourg (21 Grams, The Science of Sleep) is excellent as her devoted, long suffering sister Claire, whilst Kiefer Sutherland (The Lost Boys, 24) gives his best performance in years as her loving yet callous husband John. They are supported by a brilliant supporting cast which includes Alexander and Stellan Skarsgård, John Hurt, Charlotte Rampling and Brady Corbet, all of whom bring great depth and feeling to their roles.

Despite the fact that Lars Von Trier has remained true to form by successfully depressing yet another of his audiences with Melancholia, it is by no means as emotionally devastating as much of his earlier work, particularly Breaking the Waves and Dancer in the Dark. Furthermore, Melancholia is a smarter, more balanced film – more thoughtful and less reliant on pure emotion. Featuring wonderful performances from its entire cast that achieve even greater effect through Von Trier’s trademark hand-held, documentary style of film-making, Melancholia is so far one of the must-see films of 2011.

BTSB’s Rating : ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

DVD Pick: ‘Dancer in the Dark.’

What is the saddest movie you have ever seen? Bambi? Titanic? Toy Story 3? A quick glance at various online polls showed that there is a lot of debate over what qualifies a film as being worthy of the title ‘the saddest of all time.’ All the aforementioned movies made one list or another, along with such classics as Gone with the Wind and Old Yeller, as well as more modern films like Ghost and The Notebook. As a kid it seemed that animated films were my weakness – I remember crying when Bambi’s mother was shot, whilst Watership Down left me a complete mess. More recently, obvious choices would include Schindler’s List and Requiem for a Dream. But the saddest movie I have ever seen would probably have to be Lars Von Trier’s 2000 film, Dancer in the Dark.

I first saw Dancer in the Dark in Melbourne after its initial release in 2000. By the end of the movie much of the audience (myself included) was in tears, and I have to say that I’ve never felt the least bit compelled to see it again – it’s simply a depressing, tragic, devastating film that you reeeeeeeeally have to psych yourself up to see. Oh yes, and it’s also a musical! Starring Björk as Selma Jezkova, Dancer in the Dark is the story of a Czech immigrant who has moved to the U.S with her young son, Gene. Selma works at a sheet metal factory with her friend Kathy (Catherine Deneuve) and attaches hairpins to cardboard on her breaks and in her spare time to earn extra money. Selma’s life is a hard one, and so to help herself cope she frequently retreats into a fantasy world in which her life becomes a musical. To make matters worse, Selma suffers from a genetic disorder that will eventually leave her blind. She has passed on the disease to her son Gene, and is now desperately trying to save up enough money for him to be able to undergo an operation that will save his sight before she herself becomes blind. However her plans are ruined when she is betrayed by a police officer, her friend and landlord Bill (David Morse), and from that point on her life spirals downwards and out of control until it reaches its tragic conclusion.

Dancer in the Dark is an unusual film in that it conforms to Lars Von Trier’s typical hand-held, documentary style of film-making, whilst at the same time containing numerous musical set pieces where the cast break into song and dance routines. The result is a kind of hybrid documentary-musical that both looks and feels rather strange, but is undoubtedly bold and highly original. On the other hand, the film clearly evokes Von Trier’s earlier film Breaking the Waves by focusing on the tragic life of a working-class heroine. Both films are excruciatingly hard to watch at times because they are so desperately sad, and whilst they unquestionably pack an emotional punch, it’s often hard not to feel manipulated because it is so easy to empathise with their protagonists, whose fates are so horrible that it feels as though Von Trier must have written every word with the sole intention of making his audience ball their eyes out.

It’s hard to imagine anyone other than Björk playing Selma – the role could have been written with her in mind, as the quirkiness of the various song and dance routines suit her perfectly, with ‘I’ve Seen it All’ in particular being a standout. Catherine Deneuve (Indochine, Persepolis) is entirely convincing as a factory worker, whilst David Morse (The Green Mile, The Hurt Locker) appears to have been typecast throughout his career given his numerous roles involving law-enforcement, but he is still great here as a police officer wrapped around his wife’s little finger. Dancer in the Dark deserves to be watched because it’s creative, original, contains good performances and evokes a powerful emotional response from its audience, but you really do have to prepare yourself for it because watching it is an ordeal. Don’t watch it if you’re already feeling blue, and ideally I’d also suggest that you don’t see it alone. If you manage to survive Dancer in the Dark however, you can then consider yourself ready for just about anything that Lars Von Trier is capable of throwing at you.

BTSB’s Rating : ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

IA, 1Logic & Dead Sound Committee at bar ”Idän Tähti” 24.9.2011

Right across the bridge from Itäkeskus, the bar Idän Tähti doesn’t look like a place for underground metal on the outside. The place brings to mind more a pub than a venue, and this perception isn’t broken when stepping inside either; Homely and with a very warm ambience despite its location near the shopping centre, the bar is fitted with all the pub-classics from a couple of slot machines in a corner to a pool-table in another.

Yet here I am, come to enjoy a night of metal music that promises to be more than just “unconventional”… And when looking closer, it becomes clear that what normally would serve as a dance floor in the middle of the place, with metal railings separating this area from the normal tables-and-chairs -setup elsewhere, is actually quite a convenient spot for a band to perform. The railings provide a natural riot-fence if you will… Nice!

It’s 22:00 when the first band of the evening, Dead Sound Committee, slowly start to make their way to the “playground”… For the first performer in a night of very “underground” and unknown bands there’s already quite a lot of people gathered in the audience. Obviously, the regular patrons are there, but besides them an impressive collection of younger metal enthusiasts as well.

An ominous music-box piano tune sets the mood as an intro track, the band picks up the instruments, and the show starts… From the get-go there is a slight surprise; for a band named “Dead Sound Committee”, the music is very standard, melodic metal more reminiscent of Children Of Bodom (in particular due to the lead-guitarist’s choice of instrument…) than the doom or possibly groove metal impression that I got from the name.

All presuppositions aside, it becomes clear that we’re dealing with the “young guys” of the evening here… Dead Sound Committee plays well together and the individual members handle their perspective turfs adequately, but the looks and the overall material of the group suggests a band in its first steps; I can hardly spot a unique, “own” sound to this, and the performance gives off an overall aura of inexperience. Special props to the synth-player though, I was pleasantly surprised halfway through the set by the appearance of a keytar, and the man obviously knew how to rock his instrument.

As with all groups, practice makes perfect. And this I think is what DSC really needs. The honing of vision, beyond just “Children Of Bodom with average clean vocals” and a general mish-mash of caps, jeans and metal music. When the set’s end came at 22:45, the crowd seemed content, and so was I. The highlight of Dead Sound Committee’s show was a decently metalized version of Dido’s classic “Here with me”, a very original choice that made many smile and sing along.

It’s around 23:15 when the next band, 1Logic, comes to the stage. ..
Already at the intro; a strange amalgamation of majestic horns and jazzy piano-saxophone parts ending in an ominous church organ melody, it becomes clear that this is not your average verse-chorus-verse-chorus group.

And this is definitely not a first-time performer either, for from the first note the contact with the audience compared to the previous group is like comparing night and day: where the earlier group seemed shy, these guys grasp the audience along immediately… Despite the quite confusing music that soon follows.

Here we have what the night is promised to be: the closest description I can think of for the music would be somewhere around “melodic math-metal with frequent abrupt tempo, mood and rhythm changes laced with Stam1na-esque vocals, the occasional growl-part and plenty of mind-bogglingly fast shredfest guitar-solos”… Very strange, but very impressive as well.

The formula, despite its quirkiness, seems to work well for the group, and the musicianship is worthy of praise. However, the audience seems to remain a bit more passive after the initial energy-surge. Perhaps everyone is all too keen to catch each mesmerizing detail of the band’s handling of its instruments? Or is it just that such extremely complex music demands a bit too much from this particular crowd? Hard to say, but in either case 1Logic sets itself apart from your standard mosh-and-go bands. We have here everything imaginable, and some not so much, from “Doomish-hero metal” segments to solo-battles with circus-music backing.

As the set began to near its end at around 00:05, I still hadn’t quite grasped what precisely was this band doing in front of me; all I knew was that it left me in a certain kind of awe. This was one weird but definitely tight package, and apparently this set was played with a session-bass player who had only had a week to practice, impressive! 1Logic gave a bewildering circus of musical treats, though it requires a very “on-the-go”-attitude from its listeners. Perhaps this was just too much for tonight’s audience, but this is a band worthwhile to check out, if you remember to leave all notions of formula at the door.

The expectations begin to rise at around 00:30 as the preparations for tonight’s headliner, IA, are slowly set up. Plenty of large, black canvases or maybe drapes are hung to the ceiling and over amplifiers… This is starting to look pretty strange. Then the lights go out…

And it all makes sense as blacklights, hidden somewhere in the front of the stage, are switched on: The canvases are large decorations painted with UV-active paint, depicting astral landscapes and surreal, psychedelic patterns and images. The word that comes first to mind is: Cool! More reminiscent of a rave party than a metal-show, I haven’t seen anything quite like this before. Yet, it fits the mood; there’s definitely a “Lovecraftian” element to the scenery, and IA does call itself “shamanic death metal” so this kind of “astral tripping” would make sense.

The smoke-machines bathe the stage in mist as the intro-track breaks the silence. A deep rumbling tune, slowly escalating to aurally depict the space-y decorations plays in the background as the musicians pick up their instruments. The drummer “tests” his kit along with the intro and here I get the “shamanic” part of the band: there’s definitely a tribal element to the rhythms, with slow escalation and hypnotic repetition. The singer enters his spot and I notice that even his clothes are painted with similar decorations as the background’s cloths… It is very rare to see a band this “small” and “underground” put so much effort to the visual aspect.

And then the band starts its show in proper, but immediately I notice a tragedy for any band that wants to make a good first impression: something is horribly wrong with the mixing. I see the singer scream at the top of his lungs but nothing comes out from the speakers. Standing as I am next to the mixing-board (hint: the place where the sound is directed at, i.e. where it’s the most balanced), I ask what’s going on as I can’t hear any vocals. Baffled and confused, the mixer rants something along the lines of “I wasn’t supposed to have to touch anything…” I wonder: who hired this guy? Fortunately, help begins to speedily arrive and soon there are four people frantically working at the board. Slowly, things are starting to come around, but the first song is already ruined, with only the drums and some of the guitars audible.

If the band noticed something to be amiss, they sure do a good job hiding it; thumbs up for that. By the second song, the sound is already much, much better. And now I get to experience the band properly:

The set plows on, and we are treated with wide array of different moods and styles. Yet, though the songs are definitely individual and there’s plenty of rhythmic and stylistic variation, the overall set is neatly tied together by a more unifying theme. It is hard to point one’s finger at it, as the set varies from speedy, mathematic polyrhythms to doomishly slow droning heaviness to psychedelic choir-parts and even something reminiscent of 70’s prog-rock with landscape-painting, effect-laced guitar leads.

Some things the songs do indeed have in common. Firstly, there’s an element of repetition of certain addictive rhythms almost to the point of excess, an almost minimalistic quality despite a grandiose heaviness. Secondly, a certain formula begins to emerge with the interplay of pounding, heavy riffs and “calmer”, astral sections often with clean choir-like vocals and prog-ish guitars. I think it is these two elements that create the “shamanistic and tribal” mood with “the trip’s” ups and downs.

The musicians don’t disappoint here. The first special mention is awarded to the drummer, who handles the complex, polyrhythmic package admirably. The second goes to the singer: a hulking UV-decorated entity in the foreground, he is a perfect interpreter for the varying moods of the music, like a tribal shaman who changes setting between a rave-party and a mosh-pit. Also, his technique is very unique and varied; he uses a tribal sounding throat-singing technique together with traditional deep growls and higher screams of death metal (metal experts might find similarities between this guy and Attila Csihar of Sunn O)))/Mayhem).

Aside from the disaster of the first song, IA delivers what it sets out to: a truly shamanistic experience of mid-tempo math-metal mixed with plenty of droningly addictive rhythm-repetition; an experience laced with more than a little of Lovecraftian doom and outright psychedelia. The decorations alone make this a band to see at least once… All in all, a good audiovisual show that left the audience chanting “IA, IA, IA!”…

Ending at around 01:30, I’d say this was a very satisfactory night. There was plenty of audience for an “underground” evening. You know it’s been a good show when walking out the door you wonder how such a small (and indeed it’s small!) bar could make you feel like you’ve been to a much bigger concert…

The bands of the evening:
Dead Sound Committee: www.deadsoundcommittee.com
1Logic: www.myspace.com/only1logic
IA: only facebook-page at www.facebook.com/pages/IA/191447867591199

Venue: Bar Idän tähti (Asiakkaankatu 3, Helsinki)

Doc looks at Marty, “Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” I titter with excitement. A bat-shaped searchlight appears in the sky and mysterious music starts playing and I’m glued to the TV. Rafiki lifts baby-Simba up to the sky for all the fauna to see and I’m all goose bumps! Han Solo gets frozen for all eternity and I shrug. I feel obliged to point out that this is not an “I-hate-Star-Wars” editorial.

As probably most people born in the 80’s, I was a huge Disney fan as a child. Just watching the films didn’t come close to cutting it – I had a Pocahontas dress, Barbie dolls with which I would re-enact the plot of the movie, the 90’s versions of audio books. I would go see the newest animation in December and start counting the days until its release on VHS in September (Yes, September. Boy, are the 00s children being pampered with these four month gaps between the cinema release and the DVD one.) Growing older, I got into Batman and James Bond. They were just so cool! I shifted between wanting to be the hero and the heroine. On one hand it was appealing to be as tough as Batman in his Batmobile or have full use of all Mr Q’s gadgets, but on the other hand, being Dr. Meridian Chase and stealing Batman’s heart or Dr. Goodhead and saving the Earth from total destruction with Bond would’ve been equally mind-blowing.

Fact: Home Alone, along with all of its damned sequels, is crap. But still, when it’s on TV and you’ve nothing else to do, you must admit that it’s quite exciting to watch Kevin pull tricks on the stupidest crooks in the history of family movies. Even though you know now that it doesn’t work like that in real life, the child inside you is sniggering when the burglars get hit by the paint cans and bricks, slip on green goo and staple them selves thrice in really sensitive spots. Once again, you think back to when you were in bed with the chicken pox and your parents had rented the film for you. It was a happy time, save for the chicken pox.

A friend of mine went to a viewing of the Lion King a couple of year ago. It was a weekend showing of an animation film and all the audience were in their twenties. One of the wonders of maturity is that it allows us to interpret things more deeply. When we were children, Can You Feel the Love Tonight was about Simba and Nala playing around in the forest. As adults we get hit with the anvil of realisation that the scene probably corresponds to those in old Finnish films where the couple bends into a very stiff-necked kiss and then we pan to show birch trees swaying in the wind. An obligatory nature shot.

So what’s wrong with Star Wars you ask? Why didn’t I ever wish to be Luke or Leia? Let me tell you: I would’ve. I’m sure I would. But there was just one tiny problem. I never saw even one Star Wars film until I was 21 years old. I watched the whole series that summer, to civilise myself a bit. It is kind of a big deal, after all. And they were alright, but just that. I felt no excitement when they blasted the Death Star, didn’t shout “Finally!” when Leia and Han Solo got married.

Batman aired that summer as well. And lo and behold it had me at the edge of my seat the whole time – even thought I’ve seen it dozens of times! Watching it I felt like a pre-teen again, with my know-it-all demeanour and freckled cheeks. With Batman, with James Bond, with Disney, with Back to the Future, with frigging Christmas movies with cheesy names like Guess what you’re getting for Christmas? Guess! Guess! It’s the same thing: if you saw it as a child, watching it again as an adult will transport you back to that time when you remembered all your friends’ home phone numbers by heart, when playtime started right after the afternoon cartoons and when you didn’t know what the word university meant. The mind reaches back to that feeling of watching the movies and not being able to contain your excitement. It remembers the child’s way of viewing the world.

One day, decades from now, I will watch the Star Wars again, and with every viewing remember what it was like to be 21 years old.

This Month’s Review: ‘Unknown.’

Greetings, fellow SUBbers, and welcome to this inaugural edition of BTSB at the Movies! Each month now I will head to my local cinema (time and finances permitting) and provide you with a detailed report of my findings! Furthermore, at no extra cost to you, I shall throw in a review of a DVD that will have some connection to the movie selected that month – perhaps it will star one of the same actors, or share the same director or writer? Maybe the connection will be less obvious? You’ll just have to wait and see…

For this debut installment of BTSB at the Movies I went to see the thriller Unknown, currently showing at Kinopalatsi. (Er, I hope. It was at the time of writing at least.) Unknown tells the story of Dr. Martin Harris (Liam Neeson) and his wife Elizabeth (January Jones), who arrive in Berlin for a biotechnology summit. After arriving at their hotel, Martin realises that he has left his briefcase at the airport, and immediately returns to retrieve it. However he never arrives at his destination – a freak car accident leaving him in a coma. Upon regaining consciousness, Martin discovers to his horror that his identity, in fact his entire life has been stolen, and furthermore, he appears to have been replaced. No-one recognises him any longer, not even his own wife. Pursued by would-be assassins, and with the help of kindly taxi-driver Gina (Diane Kruger), Martin embarks upon a mission to re-discover his identity and unravel the mystery that has surrounded him.

Made for the relatively low budget of U.S $30 million, Unknown proved to be a surprise hit, debuting at number 1 at the U.S box office before going on to take in $63 million, and over $130 million worldwide. For Liam Neeson (Schindler’s List, The A-Team) the role here of Dr. Martin Harris is hardly a challenge, whilst January Jones (Mad Men, X-Men: First Class) as his wife Elizabeth, proves once again that Ashton Kutcher was right when he told her that she really can’t act. Diane Kruger (National Treasure, Inglourious Basterds) is feisty, but convincing an audience that she could ever be a Bosnian-illegal-immigrant-taxi-driver was always going to be a tough sell. Without doubt the best performance comes from Bruno Ganz, probably best known for playing Hitler in Downfall, which has since become a popular target for parody on YouTube. Ganz portrays former Stasi agent Ernst Jürgen, and manages to successfully steal every scene he is in, including one particularly fantastic sequence with Frank Langella towards the end of the film.

Unknown is an enjoyable if fairly routine thriller, relying on those old staples of coma and amnesia as the foundation for its plot. Exploring the loss of identity and the inherent risks involved in rediscovering one’s former self have acted as the basis of many prior films – in fact in some ways Unknown is quite reminiscent of Total Recall. In spite of its flaws, Unknown is for the most part a pretty entertaining film, particularly whilst its mystery is still unfolding. However once Martin discovers the truth about his past the film takes a decided turn for the worse, and the ending is a shade too ‘Hollywood’ for my liking. Overall I’d suggest you wait until this one comes out on DVD – it’s worth checking out, but perhaps not quite worth the price of a ticket in this economy.

BTSB’s Rating: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

DVD Pick: ‘The Next Three Days.’

I hadn’t even heard of The Next Three Days before it was recommended to me about a month ago by my friend Emilia, who claimed that she had spent most of its two hour running time watching it from the edge of her seat. A week later I found myself doing the exact same thing – it turns out that this is a pretty great film, and after a little research on my part I realised that I had no reason to be surprised. Writer/Director Paul Haggis (Writer/Director ‘Crash’, Writer ‘Million Dollar Baby’, ‘Casino Royale’) based his screenplay on the 2008 French film Pour Elle (Anything for Her), which some of you may have seen recently on SUB TV. After initially setting the scene and introducing us to the main characters, Haggis does a terrific job of creating suspense and then building and maintaining that tension throughout until the movie reaches its climax.

Starring Russell Crowe (Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind) as John Brennan, The Next Three Days begins with John sitting down to breakfast with his wife Lara (Elizabeth Banks) and their young son Luke. Soon after, John answers a knock at the door, only to have a swarm of cops burst in and arrest Lara for murder. Fast forward three years, and after having been unable to prove Lara’s innocence and with all of their appeals exhausted, Lara attempts suicide. This leads John to the conclusion that he must find a way to break her out of prison in order to save his family, and her life.

I admit to being a big Russell Crowe fan, but although the potential for bias in his favour here is great, I would still have no problem arguing that he is really terrific in this movie. He plays Brennan perfectly as the average guy, a community college teacher, faced with an enormous challenge and seemingly well out of his depth. In stark contrast to his various tough-guy roles of the past, Crowe gives Brennan a wonderful vulnerability, portraying real anguish at the difficult decisions he is faced with, and downright terror as he grapples with the numerous obstacles and mis-steps he experiences along the way. Elizabeth Banks holds up well throughout alongside Crowe, whilst Liam Neeson and Brian Dennehy in particular give great cameo performances.

Not only is The Next Three Days all about discovering whether or not John is able to pull off his unlikely mission, it’s also a matter of whether he will still be able to live with himself if he does – whether the sacrifices he must make in order to succeed will prove too great, and whether in the process of trying to save his family he will instead destroy it. My final verdict? The Next Three Days is definitely worth seeing. Great performances, a compelling script, and suspense that will keep you on the edge of your seat. (in my case, literally.)

BTSB’s Rating: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

With summer now just a memory and the fall term right in front of us the editors of BTSB have yet again mustered up their collective will and compiled a playlist of the most fall-o-rific songs to get you through these ever-darkening days. For extra credits you may try to guess which song was suggested by which member of staff.

Blank Dogs – Blurred Tonight

“For some unfathomable reason I’ve been unable to get this song out of my head for the past couple of weeks or so. Maybe it’s the fusion of early 80s dark art-school punk form mixed with modern lo-fi hipster sensibilities, but the song manages to be beautiful in its minimalistic melancholy. Sounds appropriate for the season.”

Eagle-Eye Cherry – Save Tonight

“This one’s dedicated to my dog. The reality is finally starting to sink in… No need for other explanations why this is the song I chose to describe the start of my autumn, I believe. (Except, no, nobody’s dying, I hope.)”

Hector – Syyskuu

“This rather minimalistic song perfectly captures the feel of yellowing leaves, misty rain and sitting by candlelight when the evening grow darker and the winter creeps closer. Further, it describes traveling to libraries to read obscure works by long-dead authors, being thus quite suited for your run-of-the-mill humanist. Quaintly leftist-romantic, Syyskuu is best served with a glass of cheap red wine and a contemplative atmosphere.”

Ruth Pointer – Streets of Gold

“This fun song is about making the most of what you’ve got with great style and panache. This applies to life in general, but you can also turn to this tune for much needed confidence when you start working on an essay five hours before the deadline. Plus it’s the 80s and Disney (Oliver & Company) brought together, what more could you possibly want?”

St. Vincent- Your Lips Are Red

“Annie Clark’s voice is simply gorgeous, it’s fair and pure. But there’s something mysterious, even dangerous behind her voice as well as her lyrics. I love this song because I feel like I can find new layers and meanings behind the words and sounds even after listening to it over and over again. The song is perfect for the taxi ride when you’re going home after a great night with someone you like, your dress all crooked and your head spinning from all the dancing and laughing. It leaves you feeling full of life, and at the same time full of still serious Autumn serenity.”

Thinking of the approaching summer instantly reminds me of the peaceful evenings spent at the Finnish Archipelago listening only to the flapping of the waves against the shores. Of course there are other things to listen to as well. Here’s a collection of some of the songs the staff of BTSB is going to listen to this summer. You might even find a new song for your Spotify playlist or whatever you use to listen to music, so do check these out. YouTube links and some explanations by the staff provided.

Atmosphere – Sunshine

“In all its simplicity, ‟Sunshine” from Atmosphere’s ‟Sad Clown Bad Summer EP” is the quintessential summer song for me. Including such classic summer phenomena as hangovers, riding bikes, ladies in summer dresses and treats for kids, there’s just no better way to start a sunny morning (or afternoon, or whenever you feel like waking up) than this song. “

Craft Spells – After the Moment

“This song is made of rainbows, sunshine and awesome. A combination of sunny new wave and bittersweet dream pop makes Craft Spells’ entire 2011 album ‘Idle Labor’ a perfect
addition to the playlist of any summer party. ‘After the Moment’ is simply the best the
album has to offer and simply listening to it makes me feel happy and warm. It’s the
perfect song to act as the soundtrack for beach parties, but its sweetly romantic lyrical
content also makes it a great song for those nights spent in with someone special,
whether just a summer fling or a long-term partner.”

Plastic Bertrand – Ca Plane Pour Moi

“It’s catchy, upbeat and the lyrics are silly just as I plan my summer to be. It’s a song from a performer that doesn’t take himself too seriously which makes it perfect for the times when I decide to throw my school books away and frolic in a leafy park like the child I used to be.”

Gary Go – Wonderful

“I just simply love this song. It always makes me feel like dressing up in a summery dress and go dancing in the streets singing along. It’s maybe not the most positive song there is, but the lyrics are supportive and sweet. I can almost feel both my self-respect as well as my self-confidence rising with every beat. I am wonderful. Thank you Eurovision Song Contest 2011 for making me notice this song.”

LCMDF – Beach Life

“Yeah, sure it’s hipster. Of course it’s hipster, what else could it be? Summer is all
about being a hipster. Well, at least the summer in the city is. You can’t avoid being a
little hipsteristisch-… You know, when strolling around the city with your bike or with
your converses or loafers. Plus this song makes me happy and carefree, it’s my song.”

Summer – The Season to Stay Inside

It’s almost here! The heat, the ice-cream, the exciting job opportunities in sales! But hey, let’s face it: summer is not for everybody. It might be that you suffer from terrible allergies, burn to a crisp from the faintest beam of sunlight or are just irritated of others constantly talking about something as simple as the weather – and even you deserve something to do. Even if you’ve got nothing against summer, what to do when you crawl home from the park at 1AM, unwilling still to sleep? What do you do on the lonely nights when your boring friends have to work in the morning? How about the days it rains or you just don’t feel like going outside?

No matter which aforementioned group you belong to, Better Than Sliced Bread has the answer for you:

Webcomics!

And hey, we’re no totalitarians and hardly ever right about anything, so go ahead and share your own suggestions in the comment section of this article!

And hey, hey! Don’t forget BTSB featured ‟I say humanist,you say potato!” by our very own Kaisa Leino.

BTSB Presents: Webcomic Gems for the Lonely Summer Nights

The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
The adventures of a doctor (M.D.) who is also a ninja of Irish origin with a serious Batman complex. Need I say more?!

Running since 2005 (or unofficially 2004), the Adventures of Dr. McNinja constitute a whopping 16 stories that (as often with long-running webcomics) improve at least in regard to production values over time. Creator Chris Hastings is one of the most devout followers of the rule of cool out there, which is reason enough to read Dr. McNinja. Or how do Raptor-riding Mexican gunslingers, NASA-ghasts, lumberjack disease or a gorilla receptionist called Judy getting a kitten sound? If nothing else, the Top 10 Dr. McNinja moments should convince you – UNLESS YOU’RE DEAD INSIDE.

Alien Loves Predator
Abe is an outspoken Alien from outer space and really interested in sexing up Earth females. He lives with Preston, a civilized Predator from another part of outer space. Situated in New York and realized with surpisingly versatile puppets and Photoshop, ALP is a cracking piece of commentary on extra-terrestial-terrestial life. For samplings, check out the archives for Abe’s adventures in the world of speed-dating or the ALP Best of.

Lately, the update schedule has been rather slow, but ALP has a long history and it should take you a few summer nights (or slow days at work) to tread through the archives.

Cat Rackham
As creator Steve Wolfhard puts it:
‟Cat Rackham lives in the wilderness but he isn’t very good at it. [...] Cat Rackham has a little bit of depression and some anxiety problems but he’s really a good lil’ guy.”

Cat Rackham is one the most sympathetic fictional cats I’ve ever run into. He doesn’t speak, but has tons of character to which it is easy to relate. Wolfhard’s style has personality and power to it, which shouldn’t be taken for granted with fictional cats.

Dinosaur Comics
We here at BTSB have previously praised Dinosaur Comics (see this article by Kristiina Nieminen) simply because it’s awesome. Dinosaur Comics relies solely on its writing and the writing is seriously clever and funny. Also, it’s terribly cute and at times, even (gasp!) educational. Prepare to be amazed by what can be done in just six panels!

Musta hevonen / The Dark Side of the Horse
The Finnish member of the BTSB selection, The Dark Side of the Horse is constantly updated and doesn’t fail to be hilarious at all times. Heikki the Horse is cynical and egoistic, making clever remarks of everyday phenomena like hating your neighbors, sleeping at meetings and avoiding responsibility. Author Samson’s style is simple, but sharp and he often breaks the three-panel comic strip form, granting glimpses to the depths of his artistic abilities.

Oglaf
For those VERY lonely nights, Oglaf is a marriage of adult humour with the trappings of
swords and sorcery. If you’re a fan of adult entertainment and fantasy literature, you
could do worse than read Oglaf. Not for the prudish or the faint of heart.

Questionable Content
What started out as a gag-a-day webcomic about indie music, girls and mischievous robots
has evolved into a comic with a long-spanning storyline. The writing is solid and reading
the comic starting from day one is a fulfilling exercise simply because you can see the
art evolve from its stylized origins into the more realistic appearance that it has these
days. However, with its shift into more serious territory the comic has lost some of its
appeal to those looking for an indie music comic.

-Esko Suoranta with Patrik Renholm, BTSB

EP out, DYI in, Klub! Puskaeskimo is ON!

From the window of our Merihaka headquarters we looked up to the sky and saw the penguin shaped distress signal. Inuit Kunt to the rescue!

(WARNING: Self promotion follows. But we have the editor in our pocket so stop whining and keep reading.)

(Editor’s Note: I’m still waiting for those beers you promised me.)

Inuit Kunt. Yes, you read right, the supafreshest band out there has been mentioned. We played our first gig at the SUB Band Night in November. Those of you who were there might remember it as the night when you felt your mind blow. Since then, there’s been plenty of opportunities to catch the Inuit experience again as we have been out and about preaching our gospel: one Christmas single, an EP, a Finnish tour plus a few random gigs. And now our own summer punk club. To crack open the nutshell, read on.

The Finnish punk scene is vibrant. Bands like Kakka-hätä 77 and Pertti Kurikan nimipäivät are making the charts and headlines, and ancient punkmeisters such as Pelle Miljoona Oy and Tumppi Varonen & Problems? are suddenly hitting the road. And that’s only the frosting on the cake, the underground is sizzling. But at the same time there’s a shortage of suitable venues for bands to perform at. There’s Lepakkomies in Kallio which has been a great spot. Recently, however, the ownership was changed, the future’s open and the cretins are getting nervous. There was Factory in Hakaniemi but that’s long dead and gone. But when the going gets tough, the tough pick up their shit and do something about it.

Starting on May 20, Klub! Puskaeskimo will give you a monthly dose of uplifting, uprising, up-and-coming as well as established punk rock acts. There’s going to be a three-band line-up at each Klub! so it’s always going to be a hot summer night full of sweet, sweet punk, hand-picked by Brothers Kunt. Oh, and minifussball. What the hell, you ask. Well, to make the Klub! even more fun we decided that there’s going to be a minifussball tournament at each Klub! before the bands start playing. Keep in mind that, even though there’s a prize for the winner, the most important thing in a minifussball tournament is to have a tough playaname that’s gonna make your opponents crap their long johns.

Our home port of Merihaka was recently nicknamed Punkhaka in Helsingin Sanomat (Nyt-liite 31.3.11). As heartwarming as that was, with the Klub!, we are leaving our turf and canooing downtown all the way to Nosturin Alakerta (http://www.alakerta.fi/). So if you want to catch the big surf you know where to be. No excuses.

In case you’re still not quite sure you should come, let me put it this way: Since BTSB is the medium of choice of the students of English, I would like to remind you that you cannot claim to know jack shit about British culture if you’re not familiar with punk rock. Or table football, for that matter.

You’ll find the exact dates and bands for the Klub!s of May, June, July and August on our Facebook site. The culprits behind all this you’ll find at MySpace and on Facebook. Join, support, dig. Enjoy.

Yours truly,
Jarky, Marty & Tommy Kunt

Another year is soon to be behind us and the holiday season is upon us. No time would be better than this to not only reflect upon the past year and also to take a look into the future.

This year Better Than Sliced Bread experienced one of the most dramatic changes in its entire existence, namely a change of its running staff from the original minds behind it to a group of new braves feeling up to the challenge of running an academic webzine. Not only has the zine seen more regular updates, a bunch of new writers and some new features, it has also succeeded at what we set out to do as our main goal: to bring the zine more closely in tune with current events in SUB and English Philology.

Next year will also see a change in staff: as my co-editor Maria Koistinen, currently residing in the United States of America, has left her post behind, we welcome a new editor to aid me in the job of running SUB’s beloved webzine. As BTSB goes on a lengthy break for the end of the year it shall return next year, like a long-running movie franchise receiving a gritty reboot or a strange messianic phoenix-like creature rising from the dead.

This year’s final issue of Better Than Sliced Bread has been specifically crafted for your enjoyment, so that you may better enjoy this holiday season.

Yours,
Patrik Renholm
Editor

Christmas is a holiday that is so ingrained in our cultural consciousness that it keeps popping up in every facet of our culture. Not only is it a time for gross capitalism and spending, but also a time for holiday jingles, TV specials and stories told to children about a fat man who used to be a Turkish saint/pagan fertility figure before settling down to lead a modest life of having a workforce consisting only of fictional mythological creatures churn out what must be an endless wave of toys and gadgets only to embark on a yearly flight around the world in a sled drawn by flying reindeer, one of whom happens to be luminally endowed in the nasal department.

But such an important holiday is also one of the favourite times for the film industry. Countless movies have been made either directly related to Christmas or set during Christmas. Choosing a favourite from among them is no easy task. One must remember the gleefully gothic Nightmare Before Christmas, a work of art in stop-motion animation, while there is also something to be said of the comic antics of Ernest Saves Christmas (not much, though). It’s A Wonderful Life is, of course, a classic, and there’s even something for those who enjoy things that are terrible: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. But none of these movies measure up to the movie that I personally think is the greatest Christmas-themed movie of all time.

Gremlins.

Yes, Gremlins, that 1984 horror-comedy where a bunch of nasty scaley creatures terrorize a small town during the holiday season. The story is a classic take on the “a boy and his dog” formula, except in this case the dog is a terrifyingly cute animatronic puppet called a mogwai (Chinese for “evil spirit” and also a pretty good Scottish indie band) that the boy’s (whose name happens to be Billy) father purchases for him as an early Christmas present for a sagely Chinese man. The mogwai, who is given the name Gizmo, comes with a set of rules: don’t get him wet, keep him away from bright lights (sunlight will kill him) and never, ever feed him after midnight.

As the story begins unfolding Gizmo accidentally gets wet, causing him to multiply. The creatures that are thus born look like Gizmo, but are a bit more mischievous. While Billy doesn’t see the potential danger in the creatures at first they eventually trick him into feeding them after midnight, causing them to form scaly cocoons that eventually hatch into the titular gremlins. Hilarity ensues, and by hilarity I mean wholesale chaos and mayhem with a soundtrack by Danny Elfman.

While the movie is actually quite dark (and nearly traumatized me for life on account of having seen it at the tender age of six) it actually has a pretty Christmasy feel to it. The cold-hearted and miserly Ruby Deagle, the most unsympathetic character in the entire movie (and that is saying a lot when you consider all the destruction that the gremlins cause) gets her comeuppance and even the Holiday-hating Kate (played by the lovely Phoebe Cates) learns to appreciate Christmas in spite of the fact that she’s got a past trauma associated with the season (hilariously spoofed in the sequel to the movie).

Fact: Gremlins also make the greatest carolers ever.

The movie ends with the sagely old Chinese man retrieving Gizmo from the family after all the destruction caused by the gremlins and even here the movie manages to slip in a covertly Christmasy message: Mr. Wing chastises the family for their carelessness, also remarking that all their misfortunes were caused by their desire to control and own that which they shouldn’t have. What better way to end a movie than with an anti-capitalist pro-environmentalist message?

All in all, if you’re looking to revisit one movie from the past this holiday season, I would heartily recommend that it be Gremlins. The sequel, titled Gremlins 2: The New Batch is not as Christmasy as the first, but it is more comedic and irreverent and definitely worth seeing if you enjoy the film. With that, I leave you with a set of follow-up discussion questions about the movie for those who have seen it:

• The main moral of the story in Gremlins is “Do not take gifts from sagely old Chinese dudes.” Discuss.
• Gremlins: pro-Christmas or anti-Christmas?
• Gizmo: cutest thing ever or the cutest thing ever?

Off to watch it for a millionth time,
Patrik Renholm